Funny I notice them now more than ever before.

I thought

That I could only sing

Along with sad songs.

The tunes rankling in my tired emptied heart.

Yet now I can’t help humming along

To those sappy, cheesy, dreamy

But vividly true melodies.

Foot tapping under the table

The rhythm echoing

Catching at my soul

A beat I can’t deny

And you’re playing it so well.

I just hope the music won’t stop.

And so I tiptoe my way in

Silently humming along

Lest I break this spell

A one way duet

With my hushed tones

And your bright voice.

I wonder if you hear it too…

My heart singing along with you.

Last year has been a trying time for me. Work was getting to me, age… or to be more precise maturity (the lack of it) was getting to me, relationship issues…

It’s gotten to the point that I could say I was really in a state of depression. Losing focus, no drive, negativism, the works… I’m just glad that I didn’t get to the point of losing the drive to live properly.

The point of this blog isn’t to focus on those dark depressing stuff. But rather, on what made me get up and out of that kind of living.

It’s like being in a dark room for a long long time… you start to brood until one day you just get tired of the whole thing.  Hey, life isn’t all that bad. The little chink of light that gets in that room starts to become more obvious and you see that the world hasn’t plunged into total darkness after all.

For me, those small chinks of light are all the people that supported me, and listened to me despite all the “negative chi” I was pouring forth. Those people are my family and friends.  It may sound a bit cheesy to some. But it really is a great thing to have these people by you in trying times.

My family has been a constant in the many changes I’ve experienced. I can always depend on their love and support for me. Whenever I come home and feel tired, they’ll just let me release all those pent up stress by patiently listening to me. It’s a quiet kind of love and support that’s easily left unnoticed. But, this time, it’s not going to be that way. 

Friends have made my past year more livelier and more encouraging. I’m especially thankful to have kept one friend who’s stuck with me since high school life. I always enjoy her company. It feels the most natural thing to hang out and chat with her that it makes all the problems fade and seem like things are getting back to normal.

I think that I’m also blessed that I have office mates that are also good friends. I’ve heard that in other company setting, politics, and ambition can get in the way of good friendship. Where I work, I don’t really get to experience that kind of tension. They also made me experience new things about the world and myself. I’m really happy that even though I find my work a little too challenging, there are people I can rely on to help me out and encourage you.  Special mention goes to my JAD mates, and APSG and three other people who should already know who they are if ever they get to read this. (If you three want clues, here it is: A*, P****, K***) It’s a blessing to be surrounded by people who are full of light, energy, intelligence and wisdom, compassion and care. Of course their quirkiness only makes them more adorable to me

Dependable family, trustworthy old friends. New friends, new inspiration.

It’s great to be here.

Stopping

Sands of time flowing fast.

Days swiftly turning to seconds.

Life goes on

seemingly endless,

unstoppable as time.

But have you ever thought

of stopping?

Even if just for a moment?

Stop

to think

of days gone by

and days that will be.

Stop

to reflect

who you are

and who you will be.

Stop

to realize

what life is really all about

and live for what you strongly believe in.

Stop

to remember

why you stand

and live in this world.

And then go on

with peace and contentment,

with certainty and direction,

no regrets nor apprehension

to…

Move on.

Cafe Latte

Beside the rose-tinted panels of the window

I sit

On the table yet another pot of coffee.

The sweet aroma

Entices me.

The taste clouding my logic.

Perhaps it’s the milk.

Coffee is bad,

And the bitter taste makes them vomit.

So they say.

Give me my cup

Make it strong and bitter.

Sweet…

Registers my brain

As I sip it

And watch the scenery

Through the rose-tinted panels.

Now, my coffee’s gone cold,

The rose-tinted panels

Cracked, splintered, hazy.

I leave.

The coffee’s saccharinely sweet.

Because I’m a little O.C. And it addresses  my first concern on what to blog. Hehe.

Anyway, I just want to use this blog to think out loud. It could help me reflect better on what I’m thinking than just having all these thoughts up in the air. Anyway, if anyone’s reading this and you’re thinking “what a waste of space”, bear with me. Haha. You can always switch to a different site if you want to.

People often tell me that I’m always staring into space… or ”may sariling mundo” ako (I have my own little world).  This blog just might let me share my little world with others. So, thinking out loud might just do the trick. After all, I’m not this talkative in person.

Enough with that prologue. Here are my plans/goals for this blog:

1. Put up sections for my interests (Food, Japanese culture and anime, travel, music).

2. Put a section up for my random thoughts.

3. A section for poetry (when I feel up to it and I think what I made is good, otherwise I’ll just keep it to myself)

4. Figure out if I’m just plain weird.

I wonder if it’s just me who blogs this way. Maybe it’s too systematic… Hmm.. I really need to get this habit out of my system… Maybe I’m overthinking the small stuff, and not thinking enough about the big stuff. Hopefully, I’ll get over this someday. Maybe it’s because I do have my own little world that I can’t find a more decent topic to blog about. Anyhow, one step at a time. I want to share more of myself and hopefully, people will like it. 

Right now, i feel like a cartoon character breaking the 4th wall. Is there a 4th wall here, in the first place? Ma, ii ka…

Why did it take so long?

1. I don’t really know what to write in it.  Sometimes, thoughts just pop in my head. But I don’t know if it’s worth blogging.

2. If I do write in it, would it just be another angsty blog? I really don’t want this to be an emotional outlet when I get depressed and stuff. I’ll just have to do my best to keep it from becoming like that.

3. I’m not a techy person, so maintenance of the blog (making it look good, etc.) might not be that up to par. Or I just might get tired of it and stop.

 Anyway, I’m here, up and blogging. I hope that maybe I’ll be able to get to know more about myself and others through this blog. Who knows, maybe this could lead to a new adventure, and a better me.

 Yoroshiku onegaishimasu!

 Up next, plans for this blog.